I think scott just propositioned me for sex
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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