apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
