To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
