been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
