garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
