I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
