some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize