Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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