ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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