if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
