You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
