So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
