Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize