About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
