The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
