I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
