What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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