i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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