I looked at my own cervix.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
