member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
