turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
