I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
splinters make it hard to masturbate
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize