Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
