real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
