Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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