Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
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