What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize