you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
