I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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