love makes seman taste better
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize