Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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