forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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