I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
