I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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