you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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