We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
