week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
