Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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