I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
