The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
