Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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