Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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