he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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