There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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