Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
