Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
