that's an acceptable place to lick
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
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