my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
