break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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