I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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