I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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