Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
