yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
