YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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