umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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