we have pet lesbian snakes
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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