So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
my penis made a compromise with my morals
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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