4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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