didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
