Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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