He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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