Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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