entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
you had me at cake vodka
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize