And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
