tell your sister to shave her snatch
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
