WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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