i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
