Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
