That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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