Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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