fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I AM VODKA MAN
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
false alarm, still single
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
