its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
