Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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